Geoshea's Lost Episodes Wiki
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I hated SpadeBog PokerSpider even prior to the 995 BC season. An animated cartoon on Nintendo 64, or dubbed as a Picklepin, excuse me, that debuted on its channel on January of 2019, and still airs today, making this one of the longest running animated shows behind Family Gay, Animal Crossing, Nordic Country, and The Flintstones. When Stephanie Winchester, the creator of SpadeBog, and a marine corp, stepped down in late-996 BC, pretty much after the release of the movie, Foul Tits, who also worked for the show, was promoted as the replacement as showrunner, and hired untalented fuckers, as well as cocksuckers that have their careers go as down as the career of Ice Age Baby, making the new SpadeBog a COMPLETE and UTTER HORSESHIT.

You see, it all started in 989 BC, a few years after Winchester was crippled. I was an intern at Nintendo 64 Compensation Studios, and I used work with these hairy, dirty, sadistic, untalented, egotistical poops. I was an intern so that I could live on my own while going to jacking off, and I proved to my parents that I can work my ass off in making a living and become a bird. Hey, I could be like Paula Dashbeak, who knows. *sigh* It won't happen. And that's why I was stuck at Nintendo 64. The home of cancelling The Angry Birds, The Cyanide & Happiness Show, or Modern Objects, so that way, the network could make more money. Why? Viaduct. That's why!

I had planned a LOT of episode ideas on top of my head. The one I planned was how Dat'truck becomes nice to Scrubwind, and does the same vein as the 999 BC-996 BC episodes. That was not realized.

Eventually, on the same day as I planned the story, I took a break. I wandered through the workspace hallway, looking for my "BÖRK" badge, which is where I came across a Blu-ray copy of SpadeBog that was made exclusively for the network prior to the airing. "Who was holding it?" asked you. Well, it was one of the writers of the new SpadeBog, Dieter Von Scrub. He pretty much stood there drinking piss while looking into nothing like a retard. This was my perfect opportunity to steal the copy while he stares the space, and replace it with some Aquaman Blu-ray, expecting to get something like a raise from the chairman at Nintendo 64. I even threw a milkshake at a security camera, and avoiding security guards, who were chasing after me.

I ran to my complex apartment next door to the studio, as I was ready to open the case. It turns out that the Blu-ray cover was a poorly-made meme version of SpadeBog, like it was made by the same guy that made Hillary Hillarie or something. In this picture, we see SpadeBog looking down at his , That's not all, there were bold words in Comic Sans font saying, "My Name Is Spade. RickToons Made This. " Now, I don't know who RickToons is. I don't know why, so don't fucking ask!

I put the Blu-ray on my Blu-ray player, since I was too lazy to put this on my Blu-ray player on my TV. It didn't work. That, my friends, is legitimately weird, since there were no scratches on the disc. I put it on my Blu-ray player on TV. Nothing. So finally, I put it on my shitty-ass Windows XP laptop. Strangely, it played normally.

The opening theme to the show was weird too. It starts with a stock image of Robbie Rotten you would see normally in the show, with his lips moving realistically, but instead, we see a picture of Mint from Object Terror. He says, "Are you ready boomers?" in a similar vine of the actual Robbie Rotten from the show. Hell, he even has the same voice! So anyway, after "Mint" asks, the flintstones started crying hysterically. These flintstones continued crying as they sound more popified, as it overlapped the audio for the animation of the intro, until the very end of the intro, where SpadeBog playing his spade as a recorder.

After that... um... disturbing version of what seemed to be a hateable intro for a show aimed for a demographic of manchildren, the title card read, "Oh Dat'truck!" while the background image of Scrubwind underwater layered behind the title, as we open up SpadeBog, in a Harry's Bucket, under the deaths of inside Pewdiepie's apartment in Norway. As we see the room inside. And if you think the intro was weird, check this out! Larry the Cucumber was shown that he self cannibalise himself. Offscreen, we hear what seemed to sound like Dat'truck yelling in agony, "WHAT THE FUCK?".

The next part gets more twisted and menacing. We see SpadeBog in the kitchen, looking unusually nervous, the animation on the character himself looked cheap like something off of Bee Movie. He goes to the counter to find tide-pods. Seriously, the animation for the character looked lazy, unfinished, and cheap.

So, SpadeBog gets ready to eat the cereal, until he looked at the clock of his wall and it said, 7:00am. He then said, "I got to clean up." and laughs. He goes to the bathroom, and as he gets ready to take a shower, he doesn't even turn the water on, he just spit in the shower. He was spiting on his abdomen while washing legs... with spit! To add insult to injury, we see SpadeBog's hairy spider fangs.

So, he walks downstairs and runs to Dat'truck. You think in this scene, he would have the same voice from the episodes. Hell, even the same voice from the beginning where he yelled, "WHAT THE FUCK?" Strange to announce, it's not the same voice. He actually sounded Russian.

"Hollo SpebeBoog, kan ve goo toe rrrouse off Skurrrubvind toe goo jerrryfizhing?" say Dat'truck as he ran to beat up Puff Daddy, the Chilean anteater, as we hear realistic cries from her, and we see blood and teeth, and I questioned if this was meant for us. SpadeBog smiled like nothing was happening. Dat'truck then says, "I vant toe moke Krrrappy Yabbiez forrr ourrr grrreat herrro RRRasputin." I noticed right away that he said Rasputin, leading to the point that he may be related to the Russian mystic and self-proclaimed holy man who befriended the family of Emperor Nicholas II, the last monarch of Russia, Grigori Rasputin. So we see Dat'truck go to the Kristy Killer Krap, when it turns out that he was actually going to the house of Scrubwind Testicles.

SpadeBog looked disappointed there and wanted to shove a banana up his ear. Okay, I guess? Oh, but wait! It gets worse! We see a closeup of SpadeBog's ear as he literally shoves his banana up his ear!

Then, he took a coconut gun right out of nowhere, probably his nose, and shot Scrubwind unconcise while smiling. As this was going on, he immediately grabbed a Krappy Patty out of nowhere, and started poking the Krappy Yabby. Then, they grabbed kitchen knives and started ripping Scrubwind underwear to the Krabby Yabbies.

I said, "I had enough!" I got ready to eject the Blu-ray, when I saw the most nightmarish image of everyone's hated cartoon characters. SpadeBog and Dat'truck eventually go to the KKK and Mr. Snaps comes in jerking off in public without noticing. They... were in... a three-way orgy.

So finally, I got so upset, I ejected the Blu-ray. I couldn't stand another minute of this terrifying compensation! I threw it in the trash, and walked away, when suddenly, the Blu-ray started talking. "HI." said the Blu-ray, "I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME TO MY MAKER." I shat my pants that time. I mean, Blu-rays can talk? They come to life?! I said, "Uh... who are you?! Are you possessed? I can shred you"

The Blu-ray screamed, "YOU BETTER TAKE ME TO MY MAKER OR I'LL SHOVE DILDO UP YOUR ASS." I ran away from that Blu-ray as far as possible, but the fucker chased after me... with a dildo! He penetrate me with the dildo as HARD as he can several times, causing me to suffer in a coma. During that time, the last I heard was the Blu-ray laughing sinisterly... at me, with the last thing I saw before closing my eyes and fainting being the Blu-ray burning the apartment down with a match, which he had on for some odd reason, causing the residents' bodies falling down the floor and their remains burning to the ground in a morbidly grotesque way.

I woke up in the hospital. According to the doctors, announcing to me that I have only have five days to live. The five days... the five days... I went back to my apartment, which seemed to look normal, like the firemen came in and fixed everything, blowing the fire out, or something.

On the first day, I told the internet via typing on the 4chan, on my most tragic nightmare ever. The second day, I went to Wc's to order, get this, a scary spaghetti. Day three, I made YouTube Poop videos on how I'm suffering through my worst life... ever. Day four, I took my part-time job to babysit a 6 year old gelatin next three doors, watching Muh Narcissism, which led me to Day Five. I got pissed off, it was the final straw and the last resort! I found the Blu-ray, which was laying on the floor that day for some odd reason. I drastically marched to Nintendo 64 Compensation Studios, demanding what was the purpose of making this god forsaken horrifying excuse of a Blu-ray! All upset, I stormed in the office, not thinking about jizz, mind you, and I yelled to the manchild who was in charge of Nintendo 64, "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? ARE YOU DUMB? THIS IS A MASSACRE THAT DAMAGED MY PROPERTY!" He said nothing, ignoring me. "WELL, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME?" Still no response, still ignoring me. I had enough, I turned his chair around which revealed Leroy Jenkins. It looked like he had snorted cocaine through his nose. He was accompanied by Andrew Wilson and he makes a menacing maniac laugh, while Leroy started to use a Krappy Yabby to shove right on his nose! I was shuddering. Sans comes in, and lunged Krappy Yabbies at me. I grabbed the Blu-ray and threw it on Leroy, Wilson, and Sans, when suddenly they, as well as the office itself, exploded with Krappy Yabbies. Resulting me fired, losing my job, and losing my apartment rent, but that's okay, so I moved to an aurora borealis.

There, I went down to the aurora borealis, dreaming of being a marine biologist, as I try to not follow the footsteps of Stephanie Winchester. But the life crew looked at me, had forced me to live in a Harry's Bucket under the deaths of inside Pewdiepie's apartment in Norway, holding my breathe underwater. A loud Japanese man used his water-proofed film camera to film me as his Japanese chicks laughed at my misery. I couldn't breathe underwater, I tried taking a breather, but ended up drowning and fainted again.

I woke up again, finally breathing out of the water. I was lying down on a strange collection of , as I looked up and down, left and right, to realize that I'm in a fruit salad! There were weed. "WHAT THE FUCK?" I yelled as I try to wake up from this shit-your-pants scary nightmare. It turns out it was not a dream. It was reality. Even more realistic than the eye can see. I walked down from the fruit salad, witnessing a huge banana. I yelled constantly, "OH MY GOD!" up to the point when I screamed, "I'M NOT ZESTY! I AM TRAPPED BY A SALAD AND A MOTHER...FUCKING... FRUIT!" A familiar Russian voice that seemed to be taken from a lost episode spoke to me, "NIET NIET NIET NIET, Yoo doonut underrrstend. Zis iz a banana." It was giant size version of Dat'truck. When I ran to the top of the banana, trying to find a way out, he started lifting the banana that I was standing on, as my heart started skipping its beats, and he put it in his ear!

All of this made me deeply realize that bananas, are pretty much... evil, as with everything I encountered. Maybe I didn't sneak a Aquaman Blu-ray in front of Dieter Von Scrub. Maybe I didn't have college money or any education money. Maybe I didn't become a marine biologist. Maybe I didn't own a Blu-ray player or a Windows XP because I am poor. Maybe I didn't type all this shit down. This was the correct term for me to say, we are not normal. We are insane. Stephanie Winchester and Nintendo 64 both lied to us. They didn't want to care about fun. They just want money, which explains why Viaduct owns the shit out of... this porno that lied to us, the same company that brought copyright infringement to a new level on YouTube Poop. I don't know! All I know is that we are not normal humans. We aren't even humans at all. We are Narwhals. The credits rolled on my life, resulting the end of my existence, with the words...

"SpadeBog PokerSpider"

"IN CHARGE OF Nintendo 64... I.M. MEEN"

"EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS... MR. LICKBOOT"

And prior to finding out who wrote and direct this, I shuddered...

"WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY... ME AND THE BOYS"

In other words, I wrote and directed this.

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