NOTE: Do not remove any plot points! That means the crossover character can stay! NOTE 2: This was made before the no crossovers rule was added. NOTE 3: what you are about to read, YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO UNREAD!!
| Killer Pocoyo was good, but could have better quality!
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So... My favorite childhood show was Pocoyo, and I still love it to this day. Anyways, it has been 4 year since I had that dream in which I saw a test reel of Pocoyo. But, there was a lost episode of the show that was also a crossover and a film...
It was called "K I L L E R, or; Killer Pocoyo" It was made by Underground Short Films, who made Bring Me the Head of Charlie Brown. It was rumored that it was showed at a film festival in UK, and was never seen again, possibly due to copyright from Zinkia, the company that made Pocoyo.
The rumor started in mid-April 2020. It was said to have scarred all of the viewers for life, with all of them killing themselves to stop thinking about the episode. I wanted to know if it was real, so I looked it up on Google. A file called "KillerPocoyoFullMovie.avi" on MediaFire came up on the 4th page. Without thinking twice, I downloaded it, went to the video, and opened it on Windows Media Player.
It started with a message reading "Teh movie your about 2 see will scare teh crap out of u 4 life! :)" in a font called Intro Rust. I laughed because the grammer was so bad. The text faded out, and the words "KILLER POCOYO OR K-I-L-L-E-R" faded in, with the same font as the message, and on a white background. The video quality made it look like a 80's film. After that, the film started with Pocoyo playing with building blocks, which was normal. The blocks looked different, though.
Suddenly, the blocks fell over. Pocoyo was shaking around for a bit, then his eyes went from black to white. He ran away, then Baby Spider fell out of the sky randomly. He said "Hello!", to which Pocoyo replied with "Out of my way!".
It got worse from there. Pocoyo stepped on Baby Spider, causing hyper-realistic blood to splatter around. My jaw dropped. I thought it was too gory for a kid's show. The rest of the film was unbearable. But I watched it, since I was way too curious.
A montage of Pocoyo killing people happened. Afterwards, the Whale was harpooned, after that, Fred walked in, and asked "What's going on?", to which Pocoyo replied with "GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!".
Then, Fred was cut in half. Meanwhile, Caterpillar and Baby Bird was on a walk. They walked into a nuke testing site. Baby Bird asked "Do you think something's wrong?", which surprised me, because Baby Bird never spoken. His voice sounded like Bart Simpson.
A mushroom cloud came out of nowhere, then, hyper-realistic blood covered the screen. I think the duo died. Then, Pocoyo killed Sleepy Bird by drowning her in a river. Pato, Elly, Loula, Nina and Roberto came into the scene. Pato said "We're here to help you" instead of his normal quacking. He sounded like Brian from Family Guy.
Pocoyo didn't say anything. He just sawed Roberto into pieces. He then got a rifle and shot Loula, which reminded me of that one scene from asdfmovie9.
Pato, Elly and Nina screamed in horror. Their screams sounded real, as if their voice acters was dying. They ran away, so Pocoyo has to follow them. On his way, he found the Simpsons' house, and went inside. Then, I heard more screams. Then, it showed Homer crying over the fact his family was killed off-scene by Pocoyo. Pocoyo then shot Homer in the head.
Pocoyo then killed the Family Guy cast. He then saw SpongeBob. Both of them stared at each other for 10 seconds, before SpongeBob was eated alive, but he was a sponge, not cheese. Pocoyo did the same thing to Patrick, Sandy and even Squidward. He then wiped the hyper-realistic blood off his face.
A image flashed in for 5 seconds, it was Finn and Jake, dead with obvious knife wounds, bleeding hyper-realistic blood on a black background. Back to the film, Pingu and Pinga was being stabbed by Pocoyo. His eyes was now blood-red.
Another image flashed in for 4 seconds. This time, it was Mordecai and Rigby, dead on the same black background. Other that being covered in hyper-realistic blood, and having pitch-black eyes, I couldn't find anything else. Back to the film, the Annoying Orange was being sliced by Pocoyo. In the background was the corpses of Garfield and Odie.
Even the Peanuts cast wasn't safe from Pocoyo's massacre. Charlie Brown was beheaded, and Snoopy's neck was snapped. Pocoyo then set the whole place on fire. Hyper-realistic blood came out of the fire, and I could hear Linus screaming. Matti came on the screen, enraged. "WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FRIEND, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!" he yelled with rage. Then Pocoyo smashed him real hard, vomiting his heart. Pocoyo killed VittorioTheVyonder2003 and Aztecgeek9000 as well.
Pocoyo even killed characters from other kid's shows, like Gaspard and Lisa, Super Why, and Doki. After 20 minutes of this, Pocoyo found Pato, Elly and Nina. Pato begged for mercy, but Pocoyo said "There's no mercy.". He then skinned Pato, and looked at Elly. She said "Why, Pocoyo, why?". She sounded like Lucy from Peanuts.
Pocoyo grabbed a chainsaw out of nowhere, and cut Elly open. Her organs was exposed. After Elly died, Nina was texting someone on a phone. She typed in "Pearl help me, Pocoyo will kill me, I won't be around much longer,". It cut to black before she could finish typing. She screamed. It then showed the phone, covered in hyper-realistic blood. Pocoyo was heard laughing. A green message faded in, reading "あなたは地獄に行くつもりです。 ポコヨはあなたの睡眠中にあなたを殺します。". It meant "You are going to hell. Pocoyo will kill you in your sleep." in Japanese. I was shocked, since I can understand Japanese.
It faded to black. A "FIN" card was showed, and the film ended. It was 46 minutes long, by the way.
I went to the bathroom to vomit from what I saw. I then deleted the file from my computer, and emptied the recycle bin. Then, my computer got the infamous BSoD. It went red after 3 seconds, and it only said "DIE *****" in a bloody font. A deep voice then said "KILLER POCOYO IS FOLLOWING YOU".
I then woke up. It was a dream, just like last time. The rumors was fake. I lived a normal life, the end.
Narrated to you by: Cathy