For context, this is based on an OneyPlays video mocking the Creepypasta genre. credits to Andrew.robinson.9634340 for transcribe it on the Trollpasta for the sake of it being on a wiki, with a few syntax changes to make it flow better. Now, sit back, relax, and have a boy.
It all started 43 years ago, back when I was a fully grown little boy...
One day, while I was running through the street, I happened to crash upon a large vehicle, which clobbered me violently into a nearby window. After getting my bearings, I looked up to see a young girl with a Game Boy Advance SP Black Edition in her tiny little hands. I had always dreamed of owning a Game Boy Advance SP Black Edition, but my family could barely even afford Gold...
She looked up at me with those big, vibrating eyes. her lower teeth quivered in confusion. "S-Sis," She said softly.
This was my chance! I ran at her screaming and stomping my feet, while she was confused. I falcon punched her as hard as I could and grabbed her Game Boy Advance SP Black Edition, and I ran out the door. I leaped back down the street towards my home. I pulled open the door by its big, smelly handle and I let myself in quietly. I snuck past my many siblings and parents and shut myself into my room. I had made it. Finally, a Game Boy Advance SP to call my own. I will have to keep it hidden from my family. I shouldn't ever allow them to know...
I took the Game Boy SP in my small, beautiful hands, and proceeded to slide the switch to "ON" mode. I will never forget that wonderful sound it made the first time I turned it on. And that wonderful Nintendo logo splashed my screen in sheer delight. I blew out my candle, and I pulled my curtain shut tight. I wanted absolutely nothing to get in the way of my first Game Boy Advanced SP Black Edition experience.
Suddenly, When the title screen popped up I noticed that it was the first Sonic game, I was like "Awesome!" Because like I said earlier I liked the classics.
"Sonic The Hedgehog... and the legend of the Stolen Game Boy Advance SP, Black Edition"?!
My hart sank... as I noticed a dead pixel in the lower right region of the screen where Sega 1991 used to be.
"Beggars can't be choosers," I thought to myself, however, and I pressed the start button with my fingers.
a mountain paradise with green fields and beautiful blue lakes. It features large waterfall vistas, palm trees, rotating flowers, flora in various colors and totem poles of unknown origin. Perhaps most distinctively, the soil is checkered brown, and most of the local plant life appear to have unfamiliar geometric appearances to it. Obstacles include crumbling platforms and spikes in the original iteration. Several other regions have also been known to feature Green Hill-like aesthetics appeared before my very eye. And there he was. The familiar "Sonic" man I had grown to enjoy.
I pushed left on the left button. Sonic himself dashed to the left. Dust between his Shiny red shoes filled the air. Amazed by his speed, I quickly pushed right to test his turning abilities. I was not disappointed, as Sonic changed direction in a matter of seconds. I learned the other button functions as I played...
'B' allowed Sonic to dash at high speeds, similar to my own. 'A' allowed him to leap so high in the sky that I screamed in fear that, perhaps, maybe he wouldn't come back down... Yet he always did, which engaged me in the game-world even further. I quickly grasped the concepts of jumping large gaps, killing enemies, and jumping to a big Ring at the end of each level.
I got to the fourth level which was an area is located within the caves of South Island's prominent mountain range. It features many spikes, spears, and water-driven contraptions, although, despite the Doctor's many tries, Sonic's greatest enemy in this zone is not the enemies or the traps, but the water. Sonic is terrible.. like really terrible at swimming, and he can only hold his breath for so long. Collecting air bubbles found at certain points underwater resets the counter and prevents Sonic from drowning. without much problems. I looked into a nearby mirror and smiled at myself with one eyebrow raised and I said loudly, "Does this game think I am not good? I can handle anything it throws my way! Ahhh huhaaaaa! Auuhhh..."
Suddenly, the screen turned black... And I don't just mean black, I mean so black... The screen looked like a big, deep, deep hole.
I said out loud, "Is this a hole I see before me?" and it echoed, like a hole.....
I wiped a large chunk of sweat from my flopping brow. "That was weird," I thought in a big bubble next to my head.
The level loaded, but this time it took a lot longer. Sonic stood in place so I pushed right and he began running. I noticed the graphics were getting all jumbly. Also, the music was becoming less like the Labyrinth Zone theme, and more garbled.
I was nearing the first part of the stage to jump over. As I drew closer, I readied my sweating, pink thumb over the 'A' button. The gap was here! I pushed the button, but Sonic didn't jump... He just Did stand there and said.
Come on Step it up!
I pushed left as far as I could and he grounded to a halt, right at the edge of the gap Next to the water. I pushed 'A' frantically and repeatedly to try and make him jump, but he just did stand there and i said.
The camera zoomed in on my face as I pummel that 'A' button, trying to make Sonic fill that air above his body, but all that filled the air were my friend Sonic's screams of fear.
I said, "i had enough of this!"
I pulled the cartridge from the Game Boy Advance SP and I threw it out my window. It landed in some poop outside and I laughed and I closed my window. I turned around.... And I saw that the cartridge was back in my Game Boy!... poop oozed from it's cartridge slot.
I gasped and I said to myself, "Nooo... It can not be!"
The Game Boy turned itself back on. Sonic's face appeared with hyperrealistic skin pores and bloody chapped lips.
He spoke softly, "You stole me from my human... Now I, Sonic of SEGA of America Incorporated, curse you forever....!"
I screamed aloud, louder than an eagle of the night, "There must be someway to undo this curse!"
I decided the only way to rid myself from this curse was to beat the game. I ran up to the first gap of the Level. I pushed 'A' and Sonic just slided as i yelled in confusion.
I fell into the hole and Sonic lost a life. This is when I noticed my skin began to rot and turn slightly Grey.
"What The hell is happening, Sonic?" I asked Sonic.
"Every life you lose, I will make you rot! Haah haah huah!"
I asked, "How can I beat the game with only screams and slides? I cannot jump gaps by screaming and sliding!"
"Fuck you....." Sonic said quietly as he vanished from the screen.
W O A H !
I decided NOT to beat the game in fear of me rotting! I decided that I was going to do the right thing. I ran out of my room pushing my feeble mother out of my way in the hallway. I ran down the street to the girl's house. Thunder bellowed and rain pitter-pattered on my crying face. Finally, I reached the house. I leaped up to the girl's window and let myself in. The room was dark.
"Girl?!" I cried out. "Girl, are you there?"
I turned on the light switch. As the room lit up, I saw many people dressed in black... They all cried softly.
"Who the flip are you people," I asked with tears running down my chinny-chin-chin.
"We are this girl's family," a little girl replied, "I was her sister....."
She pointed into the center of the room where a small, white coffin was suspended over a hole. My heart sank.
"Is your sis inside that box?" I asked with an eyebrow raised and a finger on my chin.
"Yes, a crazed person broke into our home, ravaged and raped her and stole her childhood by killing her."
Everything went slow. I dropped to my knees. I held the Game Boy tightly in my clenched fist. "Could this be MY fault?" I asked myself politely.
Her sister walked over to me with a big, fat tear in her eye. She told me, "it really means a lot that a stranger would let himself into our home to pay respects to a girl he didn't know. I'm sure you two would've gotten along great." She then pointed to the priest and said, "Please lower our gamer into the Earth NOW."
The priest did just that. He pulled on a lever with a shiny red ball on it. The coffin started going down!
I shoved the sister from my way and I sprinted toward the coffin. I jumped on that coffin and the ropes snapped. I began falling into the Earth with the dead girl inside. I heard the screams from her family echoing above.
I pried open the coffin as we fell and I shoved the Game Boy into her tiny, cold hands. "Free me of this curse, girl!" I screamed at the top of my... head.
I noticed that we weren't hitting the bottom, and that the darkness in this hole reminded me of the dark I saw in the Game Boy. Could this be what I saw before?
From the darkness, a floating, black and white head of Sonic appeared. He said to me, "In this hole, you shall fall with the dead body of a girl! Huaaah hah..." and then he Gaussian blurred away..
"This is what I get for stealing, I guess," I said as I shrugged.
Suddenly, Sonic appeared again. He said, "Wow.... It sounds like you learned your lesson. You n-now be free.. Bye." He clicked his.... head spikes and I was back in my room!
I looked over on my bed and the Game Boy Advance SP Black Edition was gone!
My sister opened the door and she said, "My bro! My beautiful bro! I made you some anime eggs on toast," and she threw the plate on my bed and left with a smile on her face.
I-I-r... I realized.... maybe stealing not okay. I looked to the sky and I said, "Thank you, Sonic inside Game Boy.."
Everything would be alright. And though the girl remained permanently dead, her sister could always play her sister's Game Boy Advance SP Black Edition to remember her by.
Thanks... to me.