I used to work for MTV back in the day when MTV was pretty much music video central. Some of my favorite shows included Remote Control, Yo! MTV Raps, the good TRL, and yes, Beavis and Butthead.

Near the end of B&B's run, however, a coworker sent me a VHS, with the words "CASSANDRA GOES ROGUE" on it. I laughed. Cassandra going rogue? That hippie would never hurt a fucking fly! But then, I was skeptical. I inserted the tape into my TV/VCR/FM combo, and then what I saw haunted me for life.

It began as a normal B&B episode, with David van Driessen telling the class about upholstery. About 1 minute in, Cassandra pulled out a gun. When Driessen asked why she pulled out a gun, Cassandra said: "You disrespect my Doc Martens again and you will know what lead tastes like!" Driessen started to say "But I didn't", but Cassandra said: "I've got my buckshot right he- ahh, forget it, I'm wearing my weapons!". Cassandra started to jump up and down on Driessen like there's no tomorrow. After killing Driessen, Cassandra then turned on Dean, throwing a frag grenade directly into his mouth. It exploded, and Dean got his head blown off Kurt Cobain style.

Cassandra then took Earl's gun out of his hands and started shooting him in the forehead. Principal McVicker came in, but Cassandra immediately started yelling the lyrics to "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billey Joel while using a nightstick on McVicker. Cassandra immediately started emitting lactate out of her glasses. "Gucci, Prada, LACTATE MOTHERFUCKER!", Cassandra said while this was happening.

The tape ended with Cassandra, with bloodshot eyes and a torn dress, looking at the camera with the words "YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE THE LACTATE" above her.

I am still afraid of Cassandra to this day.

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