Slam Dunked

The Story
"In each of us, there are two natures."

This was the words I remembered after I had gotten what appeared to be a brand-new short film entitled "Slam Dunked." The copyright date on the DVD set was "April 1, 2015, by Paramount Pictures, all rights reserved."

When I got home in my Mitsubishi from the local Walgreen's, I immediately popped the DVD into my 1997 Canadian-made computer system. The first thing to appear on the screen was the 1985 Paramount Pictures logo, but instead of silence, there was the fanfare. I liked to hum the fanfare, and so I did. The movie had a run time of minutes and 16 seconds. Then, the movie began with a black screen for 30 seconds, and the words 'Arnold Shaw presents--' appeared on the screen.

Oh, if I could back by 17 months, and prevent myself from putting that disc into my laptop, I would!

The title card appeared in huge, all-capitol letters that read "Slam Dunked; or, a Basketball Game Gone Tragically Wrong". The names of the actors followed suite: Michael B. Jordan, Brendan Fraser, O.J. Simpson, Denzel Washington and Sarah Silverman. The screen then showed a professional basketball player (played by O.J. Simpson) kneeling and throwing a basketball underneath his scrotum, and the item made it into the basket to the sound of a thunderous and violent applause. Then, the commentator (played by Michael B. Jordan) said "You can make it, enter the Vrillon!" Why would he say something like that in a brand-new motion picture targeted at 9-yeedar-olds exactly like me...?

The "Vrillon", played by Brendan Fraser, came up and proceeded to fucking bounce''' on the commentator's head for 126 full seconds, crushing it entirely. '''The camera then showed the commentator's older sister (played by Sarah Silverman) took out a loaded AK-47 and shot at the audience, and an actual .357 Magnum bullet killed a man walking down the street.

And you know what happened next?

For the next 5 minutes, a school teacher (played by Denzel Washington) ordered everyone to evacuate the whole stadium. So, that's what they did, but in the process, a stampede broke out. The whole audience was trampling every single member that made a sound; they all started to scream as the whole set slowly collapsed into a huge mass of smoke and flame, crushing the school teacher to death! I screamed along with them, and that's when the short film finally ended, with absolutely no closing credits.

With that said, I have to warn you: If you come across a DVD disc for a short film called "Slam Dunked", please do not watch it...!

The Aftermath
This was the last blog post from the author, 17-year-old Bradley Stoner, before his suicide. That's all, folks.

His 9-year-old sister Juliana discovered his badly decomposed body in his bathroom 3 hours after his blog post came to a close. Bradley had committed suicide by plunging a recorder into his trachea, and the word "Superman" was printed on the wall in ketchup. Thank you very much for reading this Shitpasta.