Eddy is love, Eddy is life.

NOTE: THIS STORY IS A CLEANER PARODY OF SHREK IS LOVE, SHREK IS LIFE. THIS IS ALSO WRITTEN IN LINES.

I was only 9 years old at the time.

I loved Eddy from EEnE so much.

I had all the merchandise.

every night, I pray to Eddy, thanking him for scamming all the bad cul-de-sac kids that deserved scamming.

"Eddy is love." I say. "Eddy is life."

My dad hears me and calls me a dork.

I knew he was jealous of my devotion for Eddy.

I called him a Butthole.

He slaps me and sends me to bed.

I'm crying now, and my face hurts.

I lay in bed, and it's really cold.

A warmth is moving towards me.

I feel something touch me.

It's Eddy.

I'm so happy.

He whispers in my ear "Lets mambo."

He pulls out a jar of quarters, and unscrews the lid with his sexy, cartoon hands.

"I'm ready." I say.

I open my mouth wide for eddy.

He fills my mouth with quarters for me to swallow.

It hurts so much, but I do it for Eddy.

I can feel my stomach filling.

my eyes start to water.

I swallow faster.

I want to please Eddy.

He screeches a mighty screech as he fills my stomach with love.

My dad walks in.

Eddy looks him straight in the eyes and says "Partytime is all over now."

Eddy leaps through my window.

Eddy is love, Eddy is life.

Partytime's not over.

It's never over.

Eddy is love, Eddy is life.