Fat Albert's Halloween Special (Alternate Version)

Do you remember that one show from the 1980s? It was called "Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids", and was one of my favorite shows of all time, until one episode caused something chaotic to happen to me and my poor St. Bernard, Sir Styron X. The episode began with an animated version of Bill Cosby being kind of a mass cock and... roaring wildly into a tuba, his own instrument. He then started up.

This is Bill Cosby, coming to you for fun,

And you have to learn something before it's done,

The film and the flaming, and the bean bag boom!

My head looks like a mega mushroom cloud!

To be honest, the program was innovative if you asked me. Bill had an afro and lived in this junkyard, then Mushmouth said "Fat Albert, get yo fat head out here!" Fat Albert looked really mad. "It's just Albert, you fucking assholes! Hey, hey, hey!!!" Bill yelled at all of the Junkyard Gang members. He looked a little weird.

The episode was entitled "Russell Cosby is dead". ///. I could tell, because Russell had apparently died of a homicide. He wasn't moving a muscle. Russell was soaked in actual blood, and the cast members kept talking about how he died, especially the kid who called himself "Dumb".

How did this tape even reach my apartment? I shakily wanted to watch "Apocalypse Now" from 1979...

"Shut up!" the red-capped boy screeched. Then, Bill Cosby came up with Mud-foot Brown. There was some singing in Greek that I really didn't understand, Bill appeared to be mixing an orange drink with some black goo substance. Fat Albert was also enraged, and he also looked really disheveled. I suddenly started to scream at what I saw next. Bill... Bill Cosby had cut his own... his own head off, and was balling with in da junkyard! Mega realistic blood was spraying all over the screen as he got a Tin Can strike. I shut the tape down. "If you shut that tape off," Bill warned; "I shall kill your St. Bernard."

I'm sorry to report that two weeks later, I found Sir Styron X lying dead next to his water dish. Poisoned by Bill Cosby...! "Spiders," Bill began on my cellphone. "Cheap plastic spiders!!!"