Thread:Suomynona404/@comment-33542393-20171107233431/@comment-29417957-20171108041115

The grammar is good, but the story lacked suspense, (build-up) and the climax wasn't really that horrifying, just that the deleted version is a tad too scary for kids to watch.

However, I do see an improvement. Even though it doesn't meet the Quality Standards, it still shows some effort.