Mickey Loses Everything (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Lost Episode)

I never liked Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Even when I wore a younger man's clothes. It just never peaked my interest. I found it very annoying, and way too babyish compared to some of Mickey and the gang's other outings. However, it recently came to my attention that the show was finally airing it's official series finale.

The finale was intended to end both the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Roadster Racers franchises all in one go. Needless to say, it didn't exactly go very well.

When it came time for the finale, I sat down on my sofa, with a bowl of fruitloops, and got ready for some cringe worthy action from everyone's least favourite mouse. The promo which normally tells us what show is going to be on next, instead said this rather chilling message. "Don't watch this appalling cartoon. Watch something else!"

'Whatever it's probably nothing' I said as I began browsing on my phone when a loud noise came erupting through the television. Mickey walked up the path to greet the viewer as he normally did, but when he got to the screen, and asked "well hey everybody it's me Mickey Mouse!" The audio just cut, and when it came back the language was German. Mickey kept talking, and the intro continued like normal. However one thing was noticeably different, none of the other characters were present during the role call, and the clubhouse looked completely wrecked as if it had been hit by a train.

The episode title then came on screen, and it read "Mickey Loses Everything." Only the kids who normally read the title of every episode sounded like fully grown adults. It started with Mickey sneaking around the clubhouse. He turned to the viewer, and said "oh hey everybody didn't see you there!" Only his voice sounded nothing at all like Mickey no it sounded like a guy who had been smoking for 240 years. "I'm playing hide and seek with Donald again..." Mickey continued, "and I think I can hear him hiding in the bedroom. Come on let's take a look." Mickey said as he crept his way over to the bedroom which they had in the clubhouse for some odd reason.

Mickey opened the door only to find, and I'm not even joking here, Minnie having sex with Mortimer. I nearly gagged as Mortimer looked like my sister's boss. "What the hell is going on here!?" Mickey yelled but this time it was in his normal voice. "Mickey I'm sorry but I think we should get a divorce. I mean all you do is playing with Toodles in the clubhouse, or asking your friends for help." Minnie said before continuing, "Mickey first of all you don't have any friends, second of all there's no people watching us who can help you with your problems, and thridly, why not try and solve your own problems for a change?" Minnie asked while Mickey sunk to his knees, and started crying.

I started losing, I mean seriously, Mickey deserves to be kicked out for being such an insufferable douche. Whatevs, the episode then showed a brief clip of a man crying, and kicking his pet dog. 'Animal abuse much?' I asked myself.

The episode came back to show Mickey in a courtroom with Goofy serving as his lawyer. The judge who looked like Abraham Lincoln yelled, "Mickey Mouse for being such an insufferable asshole, I'm giving everything you own, including your clubhouse, and other assets to your wife and her partner. Also, I'm putting you in the electric chair because that's how much this court hates you. It's a cruel world but it's our world." The Judge said as he threw his hammer down signalling that the case was closed.

The episode then showed Mickey getting into the electric chair with Principal Mazur from A Goofy Movie serving as his executioner. Mazur looked at me with big red eyes, and said "don't let your wife cheat on, or you'll end up in the electric chair!" He pulled the lever, and Mickey died instantly from the electruction, and the episode ended with the credits which had all the characters dancing around Mickey's burnt corpse.

I have to say I really enjoyed this episode, I mean while depressing, and kind of harsh for Minnie to cheat on Mickey, and then arrange his death. But still, it was awesome.

Suddenly, another loud noise took me out of my thoughts, as the credits ended, and changed to a post credit scene showing Satan smoking a cigar. He looked at the screen, and said in a British accent, "this episode was pretty rad. But if you laugh you go to Hell before ya die!"

"WHAT!?" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I needed some answers I tried to call Disney, but got no answer. I tried calling 9-1-1 but again no answer. I think I'm seeing something outside my window. It's Mickey Mouse, and he does not look happy. He looks now right pissed off. He has Satan and Principal Mazer with him.

This might sound crazy, but I am going to go outside to speak to them. Ask if they want a cup of tea and stuff like that. Also, Mickey looks like he wants to show me something, Satan has a basket ball, and Mazur has an electric chair. If this story ends here then assume the worst, but if not then I'll tell you how it went.