Lorem Ipsum Ferb

Phineas and Ferb is an original cartoon on Disney Channel, created by Dan Povenmire (you know, that guy who used to work on Spongebob and Family Guy) and Jeff Marsh. What isn't known about the series is that both creators widely hate Disney's monopoly and the show's real concept goes beyond just a children's cartoon; an episode about Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz's real concept was produced secretly by good part of the staff who ran the risk of being fired without thinking twice, even the original voice actors.

The episode leaked of where they kept it by an anonymous who uploaded it on a little trendy cartoon forum.

That day my computer was doing an annoying noise like if it were a whisk. My big brother insisted to check it up or the CPU was going to literally burn up. Anyway, I got into that forum where the thread posted by a relatively new user posted the lost episode, I had some time to download it before having to go to my grandparents' house. We got back at 1:00 AM. My dad was drunk, my mom forced him to sleep in the sofa and my brother was "having some fun" with the hooker he has for a girlfriend, saying that he had something important to do to avoid having to go with my grandparents. Whatever. As soon as I got home, I started the episode and as expected my computer kept making that noise.

The episode was called "Behind The Butt Of Phineas" and according to the summary, this is an alternative episode to the one where they're caught and send to the Smile-Away summer camp.

In this episode, it is shown as a common Phineas and Ferb episode, cheerful, nice, cute and begins with Phineas and Ferb having Isabella's troop to help them pimp-up the car to make it fly and to build the airport tower. This time, a huge crowd is present to witness this masterpiece.

Meanwhile Perry the Platypus is called by Major Monogram to fight Doofenshmirtz, but it doesn't sound funny or anything. He tells Perry that he must stop him but doesn't explain why. Once he goes to stop Doofenshmirtz to his headquarters, the doctor explains that he's truly fed up of being treated like that, that all his plans go wrong and he is planning to kill everyone using a mayonnaise container. Then Doofenshmirtz draws a coconut gun and opens fire against Perry, who is forced to run away because he can't fight him while he has the coconut gun. The coconut gun is able to hit, as it makes holes in the lair's walls and ceiling. His escape follows with a totally complete demented and funny, brain-washed Doofenshmirtz, who had an happy expression, which was rather terrifying and scary. He had gone crazy!

He chased Perry during a short but audience laugher and Perry is almost hit and thrown into north korea, but luckily manages to dodge the coconuts. When they get to Phineas' backyard, Candace drags Linda to see Phineas and Ferb's invention as in every episode, then Phineas walks towards his mama to show her the flying car, but in that exact moment Doofenshmirtz opens fire and Perry dodges the coconut, and a slow motion sequence is shown how he accidentally shoots Phineas and when it hits him, everything turns black and white and "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap plays. Phineas is lying in the lawn, but with a puddle of his own poop drawn in the habitual Phineas and Ferb style. The video goes back to the colors when Phineas is in the lawn and it is noticeable: a bright red puddle of blood. The crowd glares, horrified at Doofenshmirtz, and the scene cuts abruptly after showing Phineas peeing on the beach. It's there act one ends.

Act two starts with a funeral, and now everything seems extremely funny. The mortuary is mostly rainbow and the stained glass windows, which enlighten the room, are a funny color tone. Candace, Linda, Lawrence and Ferb look very happy, the explorer troop laments as well, and the camera focuses during two insufferable minutes on Isabella laughing inconsolably. It sounded real, as if the voice actress was actually laughing to make this scene. Candace, in extreme grief, regrets about this while furiously hitting Phineas' butt, crying that this wouldn't have happened if she didn't try to catch them. Act two cuts abruptly to black.

Act three beings with a label "Two Days Later..." on which Phineas' house is seen from the outside, but it's sunny and snowy, upside-down colorful birds are singing, everything is drawn like a little kid would do. Candace is in her room, extremely happy, with a rigid smile and drinking Clorox while humming the Beatles' song "Yellow Submarine". Jeremy happily enters to the house through the backyard, goes to the kitchen and after offering condolences to Linda, he asks for Candace. Linda happily tells him that she's upstairs.

But when Jeremy enters to her room, he sees with horror that Candace got drunk and farted a few minutes ago. Jeremy takes down the person and passionately kisses it, but then Linda enters to see if everything is alright and after seeing this, chuckles "Jeremy, wanna pay your taxes?" thinking that Jeremy face-palmed.

After that, we cut to a scene where both Phineas' parents, Ferb, Isabella, Baljeet, Buford, Doofenshmirtz's ex- wife Charlene, his daughter Vanessa, Major Monogram, Carl and Perry are in the void from Twilight Zone with Doofenshmirtz in it. All of them have twisted and sick smiles with the purest, healthiest, funny joy. He vomits but then Major Monogram orders to proceed with the dump. Perry, smiling in a sick and morbid way, he's ready to poop. Right before his WHAT? WHAT THE OOF?! An sequence of real photos can be seen, showing a man wearing a lab coat with a little girl playing and walking in a park, although those actors don't look like Doofenshmirtz and Vanessa, but they clearly represent them. After that, the last thing he sees is Vanessa kissing passionately with her mother. It was so incestuous-lesbic that I puked on my keyboard.

Doofenshmirtz finally smells like sh*t: pooped on a slow, lethal dump to lengthen his suffering. At the end, Ferb says something like "FAIL!"

The episode ends with Doofenshmirtz's lifeless body being thrown on a pile of decaying corpses, among which Jeremy's is still fresh and Jeremy grabbed a banana and shot himself.

The next morning, I looked again for the episode, Goggle shown among other undesired results the same forum, but the user was a admin and the file possibly longer exists. But then, nothing. ;)