Ed.avi.exe.wmv (IMPROVED VERSION)

WARNING: THIS STORY IS NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY, IF THAT WASN'T OBVIOUS ENOUGH. SO HOODOHOODLUMS REVENGE, DO NOT MISTAKE THIS FOR A CRAPPYPASTA, BECAUSE THIS IS A SATIRE OF BOTH FUNNYPASTAS AND CRAPPYPASTAS. ANYONE CAN LEAVE THEIR CRITICISM IN THE COMENTS BELOW. ENJOY, AT THE HQ OF THE CHUCK E CHEESE HATERS, LED BY SHANE DAWSON!

I'm going to tell you a story.…………. SO ARE YOU READY KIDS? 3, 2, 1, GO! So one day, I was an intern for Cartoon Network in 2008, because THAT’S totally OG. I also created scripts, which is why we have episodes like “Smile for the Ed” and “If it smells like an Ed”. But one episode was so UBER realistic, Insane, and Sexy, that I think It's the reason they canceled the show.

So let's go to 2/24/2008. I was rolling down the street, and rolling to the beat, when I saw a rainbow VHS called “Lost Ed Edd Eddy episode: DO NOT WATCH OR ELSE YOU WILL DIE TO THE HANDS OF…………..uhhhhh…… Andrew Skinner, I guess……?” So I did the most Huge mistake ever thought by man. I picked it up, ran to CN studios Naruto style, and decided to round up other interns to watch it with me. I shoved the tape into the laserdisc player, (Because logic is diggity darn overrated, ok buddy chum bucket pal?) and it played for some UNGODLY reason.

Let’s get in the main bacon cheeseburger meat of the story, shall we? So the show started like it would, but in the intro, there was UBER HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD, SNOT, PISS AND DIARRHEA EVERYWHERE, because THAT’S spooky………. Right? Also Double D (Edd) was obsessing over My Little Pony, and Eddy was drinking Double D’s tears, (because for some reason Double D was crying), and Ed was doing the Macarena. I was so spooked by the blood because i’m a pussy cat. Then the episode started, And it was spookier than Skwodware commits not alive anymore!

So the episode started with All the neighborhood kids (Including Mr. Krabs) running around like DORKS. But Ed was missing for some reason. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm …………. Odd. Then Satan appeared and cast his satanic spells on everybody but Ed, Making them Satan fanatics. They Stormed Ed's house, and took him to a satanic ritual room that appears without any context or had any implication that it exists. Then they burned Ed to death in a super duper ultra supremely HYPER REALISTIC WAY. Then Some how, Some way, Mrs. Frizzle crashes her bus Into the culdesac, blowing it up, and killing everyone (not including the Friz wiz and the bus). Then it cut to a MOTHER FREAKIN BULBASAUR (my favorite Pokemon) COMING INTO THE ED EDD EDDY WORLD FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN TO ADD SHOCK VALUE (and clichés even though that probably isn't a creepypasta cliché). Then he said "YOU MUDDA FRIGGIN JERK! YOU RUINED MY WEED STASH THAT I LEFT HERE FOR OVER 9000 FRGIGIN YEARS, DAWG! YOU COULD HAVE RUINED MY LIFE, HOMIE! YOU TAKE AWAY MY BACKUP SUPPLY OF THE WEED THAT I SMOKE EVERYDAY, (cause I ran out fam), YOU PAY, BRUDDAH! GO STUPID AAAAAAAH GO STUPID AAAAAAAAH GO CRAZY. GO STUPID AAAAAAAH GO CRAZY YEAH! GO STUPID UH! then the episode ended, followed up by a card saying "Part two: "THE SOUPER BIG AND CLIMACTIC BATTLE IN ALL CAPS".

Now, I cant really give my thoughts, due to the second part, but ill make sure to update this soon. Until then, Bye! (Oh wait, this is the full story, I forgot that so part two coming up next)!]PART TWO:

Part two starts right where the first part left off, no Intro, no title credits, it just starts. Mrs. Frizzle says "So my unbloomed friend, ill make a deal. you win, ill buy you ALL the weed and crack for you to smoke and sniff to make yourself freaking CRUNK. You lose, I win all the Rights to these items, including: Your Pingas, Your homies, Your boyfriend (CAUSE I FOUND OUT YOU WERE A GAY F######.), Your UGLY AND STOOPID mixtape about a freaking MLP fanfic calling Apple Jack a PONY SENAPI, And your life. Capiche Me boyo?" Bulbasaur says "Yup, mudda heckin yea! Dis episode is already a cringey EEnE X Pokemon X Magic School Bus fanfiction about you and me fightin to da DEATH, yall! It was written by a gay furry who sacrifices his dog with other gay furries while having an explosive diarrhea ritual, so they can celebrate Kero the wolf's giant 4548758 inch pingas and his distance his diarrhea went in a crap contest. Also one thing fam, We can bring 5 partners here, kay fam?" Mrs. Frizzerald says "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!" I got the power to rise 3 people from the dead every 100 years. so i'm gonna bring the Ed boyz back here because this is EEnE. Im also gonna bring Mah boyfriend Hariama (who is also a pokemanz), and my good friend, Garfeilf. Don't make fun of him just cuz he's a fat cat. Mrs. Frickle says "Okey." Then they appeared out of a Otterton shaped portal, and somehow landed on their feet. Friz summoned D.A, Spingebill skwoarpantz, Mr. Krabs, Arnold, and Ralphie. They spawned ( landing on their Anus BTW) and came out of a Bubble Bass shaped portal. And then, the battle began.....

The main footage consisted of a short montage of the war of the characters. after that, it cut to a scene showing SpingeButt TikTokpainis's 666 inch pingas in a lamp post, as hyper realistic crap and tomato sauce splattered all over the floor to kill the Bulb Bro. Bulbasaur dodged it, and then he started shoving sticks up Mr. Krabs's butthole while he was filming himself saying "Ahoy spongeboy me bob, I set fire to all the trees in Europe, and I'm now on the run!" to Youteletubbies and to Dailymoddafrikah. Mr. Krabs farted, conveniently killing the bad guys! (YAY!) It then cut to the fields with all the bad guys (excluding Frizzing and Arnoleedle) DEAD! OH NO! They were also covered in Hyper realistic photos of Drew Pickles taking a giant, swell, sexy Diarrhea dump. "Now Arnold, It's time to do our XXX tentactongpingashead fusion!" They then Fused together Resurection F style and transformed into FAT FREAKING ALBERT! He then started Doing the Social Justice warrior Gangdam style while Twerking TikTok Style and Yelling "HEY HEY HEY! YOU GONNA PAY!" and "WUBBAWUBBADUB!" Also audio of T Pain Farting played. But forget that, and lemme tell you this one thing: everything was certain that the battle had truly began...…………………………...

But without any notice, Eddy started floating, an then he started to glow. Then, right after, he absorbed all of the heroes and transformed into...……… *drumroll sound* Sqiddles the Rainbow squid! He then said in a spoopy way"YOU MUST DIE!" He then started to charge a hyper beam. once he was done, he pulled Albert's pants down, and shot the laser up his butthole, completely evaporating Fat thicc Albuttholeian. The episode ended with Squiddles defusing into the heroes, and them saying goodbye.

My thoughts on the episode: It was epic, but it DID NOT FEEL like Ed Edd Eddy at all. But it was so sexy that I give it a 4763/10 (Would watch again over 9000 times.) that's all I have for this post. And no, an Ed Edd Eddy character or a skelengton did not pop out and kill me, I simply lived my life in my house, without any weird thins happening! Well, other than the fact that I became Patrick Star, but that was when I somehow went into the cartoon world and drank Patrick's DNA. And, I must say, there were worse things that could have gone much worse in stories like this. So I'm lucky, I guess? Eh, whatever. I have stuff to do anyways, so bye.
 * weird Lip smaking ensues*