User blog:TheDarkCat97/Two-Faced Coop Q&A: Part 2

''I know you've been waiting patiently for another Q&A, but, YouTube can be a downright C.U.N.T to people like us! But, through the fire and the flames your two-headed psychopath from Hell is back once again to ask some fan questions. This time from a certain somebody named "KidVSKat Tragedy". You see, he's been following us for quite some time, and we thought, now it would be the perfect time to finally answer his questions. Ask away kid, or do I have to do the ol' ventriloquist routine?''

Question: Why did you kill Coop's childhood crush?

Answer: ''Hm, not really sure why I did it, but I do remember that it was on the week we finally bit the dust. Remember, she got zapped by that memory eraser thing, so she became just like those vaginal blisters that got Coop to snap in the first place. Couldn't stand to hear her talk, or moan.''

Question: Are you a killing machine as in you kill everything you see in your eyes?

Eddie: I wouldn't call myself a "Killing Machine", but like Chucky once said, it helps us relax.

Coop: I don't think it's anything to worry about. After all, he did persuade me into becoming a killer. I never wanted to become one but, he was so damn persistent. I'm not the killer here, I'm... I'm, just a puppet of my own guilty conscience.

Question: Can you get out of Coop's body please?

Answer: ''What are you my psychiatrist? Come to think of it... You're that doctor from the asylum, aren't ya? Trying to play Doctor Lummis, huh? Sorry, Michael Myers isn't home right now, he's too busy shagging your wife!''

Question: What is your opinion on Jeff the Killer?

Answer: ''Well for starters, he is my mentor. We first met in Hell, saved our sorry asses from Satan's wrath after talkin' some jive, and taught us some pretty impressive ways to mutilate a corpse. Even a little bit of necrophilia too... Oh, did I mention that Jeff even told us about a guy named Mr. Betty Krueger? Heard he does some awesome stories and audio dramas. We subscribed as usual, who better to listen to Jeff's content while actually pulling out someone's intestines?''

Question: Do you kill children?

Answer: ''Well, there was three children we mutilated. Not like that matters because, we were on vacation and wanted some photos for our vacation slides. But someone had to butt in and steal the photos so that he can make some stupid cartoon of sorts. Huh, thinking back at it... Was that the three dead children from Squidward's Suicide? That son of a BITCH!''

Question: Do you believe in vengeful spirits because the more you kill innocent people, the more you suffer?

Answer: Eddie does, but, not me. I believe in God, because it's the only thing that can save my soul from damnation once again. The only thing to block out the screaming in my head, is a song called Nobody by Casting Crowns. I don't know why I do the things that I do, maybe it's because I let Eddie bend me against my will. I did try and fight him but... the results wasn't pretty.

Question: Why do you keep on getting Coop into trouble?

Answer: ''Who said I was getting him into trouble? We're just trying to survive. Dog will hunt you know? Dog will hunt.''

Question: Are you afraid because you never got what you wanted?

Answer: That's a tough question. People usually look at me weird because of my face. They ask me questions like: "Are you the Devil?" or "Were you born like that?" I just continue to stare, helplessly, wanting them to know that, I'm just troubled. So yes, I am afraid of not getting what I wanted, but that was back then. I want dad to know that I'm hurt, I want the endless torment to finally end. But, I know damn well that's never going to happen. And now look what happened to them. They paid for their sins... in blood.

Question: Do you and Coop use Guns?

Answer: ''The knife has been a constant, but guns, that's a little too easy. So what better way to turn a man inside out, than to use your imagination? Just think about it, you can use anything as a weapon; running someone over with a steamroller; putting someone in a woodchipper; and stuffing a crying baby in a microwave hehe! Oh, the joys of being a homicidal maniac keeps getting better every second while watching someone get turned into a Picasso!''

Question: Can I befriend Coop? Because I hate Mr Kat.

Answer: ''No. Why? Well, I just don’t want you to think that this piece of shit is anything other than a pathetic, human defect. Nothing more. Not a monster, not a boogeyman. Nothing but another reason to feel better about yourself. Understand that it’s just a person - not worth devoting any nightmares to. And so, irritant, it is with this that I leave you. You are spared so that you can think of what it really is to live in a world that engenders a pain for which there is no comfort. Here is your product! You have the rest of your life to think of this. And I suggest you think quickly, for a long life is never a guarantee.''

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''Well, that was fun, no? Feel free to ask away about our journeys. But, be quick to type that question down, if not well... better luck next life. Cause there ain't gonna BE a next life where you're going HEHEHAHAHAHAHA!!! See you next time, my adoring fans!'' :D