Sesame Street Episode 666 (Alternative Episode)

The Pasta was seriously bad, guys. But it will probably suck ass less thanks to my edits.

-Hayden Boggs, 2017

Intro
I began working at PBS back in 1971 for my new job. I got to watch new episodes of shows like Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers and others. For the most part, I had a super fun and awesome time until I quit my job in 1985.

But quitting wasn't the worst part.

The worst part was in 1974. Me and 5 other interns (their names were Henry, Joey, Shawn, Allison, and Sammy) were ready to watch a new episode of Sesame Street. We all expected it to be the first episode of season 6, but what we saw was very different from what was later aired. And I mean VERY.

Man, just how I could forget about this entire experience...

Episode
The intro was overall normal, like as you'd see in the actual episodes, but the episode started to get abnormal as soon as it got to the first shot. It started off with Big Bird walking down Sesame Street to visit Oscar. For some reason however, Oscar looked angry as if something aggravated him. Big Bird looked depressed as Oscar was yelling at him, even though he didn't do anything to frustrate him. I was confused by this scene, and I could tell the other interns were thinking the same way as I was.

Then it cut to Elmo (or at least, what looked like a prototype of him) sitting on a sofa. The odd thing was, that Elmo (technically) didn't exist back in 1974, and he wasn't a puppet. He was a live costume (similar to Big Bird) with a performer inside him. Then he said something that shocked us. His voice was the same voice used before Kevin Clash voiced him. He said:

'Listen up all of you, Elmo is about to fuck Sesame Street up and make everyone Elmo's slaves! Elmo will hunt down and rape you all. Then Elmo will make all of you face the kiss of death! You all must burn in hell!'

In the next shot, we saw Cookie Monster, except he was all red. Then he yelled:

'''[https://www.nytimes.com/1990/05/17/obituaries/jim-henson-puppeteer-dies-the-muppets-creator-was-53.html "LISTEN UP EVERYONE, I'M ABOUT TO KILL MY CREATOR JIM HENSON." ]'''

Jim Henson walked in and said "E-excuse me, Cookie Monster, but w-why are you all red?" Immediately after Jim spoke, Cookie Monster then grabbed an AK-47 out of nowhere and starting shooting rapidly at Jim Henson. After killing Jim, he started eating him. He pulled out his brains, guts, heart, flesh, eyeballs, and other internal organs and ate '''ALL of them. '''It was revolting.

R.I.P. Jim Henson
 * Born: September 24, 1936
 * Died: May 16, 1990



Then we saw Grover in an airplane. He had an empty beer bottle and an iPhone (which didn't make sense, because iPhones didn't even exist back then). Grover got drunk all of a sudden and ran to the emergency exit. He opened the door and jumped out. He fell to the ground and died. I actually got sad at this point, but the other interns didn't.

When the next scene came, it scared us horribly.

It showed Big Bird being thrown off a cliff into the ocean by an anonymous masked perpetrator with an anvil on his leg. He struggled to free himself from the anvil underwater for around a minute and drowned.

The next scene showed Ernie sitting on a chair. A noose was visible up above. Ernie was writing in a diary. It said:

''Dear Diary, life sucks. It always had and had not improved one bit. At this point, my life sucks so badly, that I have no choice but to end it all. If my suicide affects anyone negatively, I apologize in advance. Lastly, I had to thank all my family and friends for the support they have given me throughout my time here on Sesame Street. Goodbye. - Ernie''

Then he hanged himself on said noose.

Bert then appeared. When he found the body of Ernie, he gave a lifeless expression. However, what he did next was just odd yet horrifying. He took down Ernie's corpse and ate his brain. (I don't know why he did this. I just... don't.)

The credits were in Japanese. A distorted version of the music normally heard in season 6 credits played. Then the episode "Finally" ended...

Aftermath
The other interns were shocked. Some were pissed off. I was just speechless. Two of the interns claimed to have seen an image that flashed on screen for a frame or two at the end of the credits, though neither of them could make out what it was. We agreed to rewind the footage to see if this was true. And sure enough, it was. The image was a photo showing Elmo standing in front of the same living room backdrop seen in the episode. He was holding a large cardboard sign that said in big black letters ELMO IS GOING TO GET ALL OF YOU written in black marker. What happened next was SCARY.

We saw Elmo (as seen in the episode) burst through the room. The person inside the suit was insane and had a handgun in one of his hands. He came for us while shouting "Here comes a Candle to Light you to Bed, and here comes a Chopper to CHOP OFF YOUR HEAD!". While he shot his gun all over the place. me and the 5 other interns thankfully got away unharmed.

The guy in the costume was actually a psychopath who kidnapped the producers to create the awful episode. Me and the other interns found out about that on an issue of The New York Times. The aforementioned psychopath later got a life sentence in prison for a murder charge that had nothing to do with the episode. Everyone, including us, was relieved.

Anyway, the reason why I quit was because, in late 1985 (by then, Elmo appeared in his modern form), I was just resting on the couch watching TV, when suddenly, I heard a voice that sounded like Kevin Clash's Elmo voice. It whispered:

"Sesame Street is now over. Try to keep this interesting for Elmo."

I looked back and what I saw was horrifying.

What I saw was an Elmo plushie, with blood on it. It had a knife in its hand and a gun in the other, and had a creepy grin, and its "eyes" were nothing more than empty black holes...

...and I viewed to the TV, the screen said:

"あなたは次の犠牲者です. エルモはあなたを追い詰めます.  悪魔を賞賛してください.  すぐに、私は次の...ᗡNƎ"

After a few hours of trying to figure out what the text translated to, I realized what it meant:"You are the next victim. Elmo will hunt you down. Praise the devil. Soon, I will be next... ᗡNƎ"The end...

Cast

 * Jim Henson - Himself and Ernie
 * Caroll Spinney - Elmo, Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch
 * Frank Oz - Bert, Grover and Cookie Monster

Chronology

 * Previous: Episode 0665
 * Next: Episode 0667

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