Talk:UNDERTALE.EXE/@comment-98.244.144.36-20200214204904

I'm just going to be that one annoying user that criticts Creepypasta. Before I start, I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's from Game Jolt. The game was meant to be a creepy .exe file. Now, the original point.

1: "I didn't remember where I got it from..." I'm just going to question the logic. How did you not remember where you got it from? Wouldn't you, I don't know, be creeped out by it so much that it would be placed in your mentality? Wouldn't you add in the website in your notes (it could be in a notebook or on the Notepad option on a laptop/computer. If you also have a mobile device, you could type it in your Google notes.)? Maybe, for future reference, add more foreshadowing. I'm not going to pretend that I'm William Shakesphere, but the foreshadowing can raise the awareness of the viewers.

2: If you are refering to the Game Jolt game, the font isn't red. 3: It's *Frisk, not Fisk. 4: 'It' is not a pronoun used for humans. Pronouns used for agender/nonbinary peope are they/them and ze/hir.

5: This is the worst possible way to 'end' a story. More coming soon? That sounds like a poster to a 2016 Netflix original. One, there are only 345 words in the creepypasta. Adding the actual ending all in one story is a better option than ending it off here with a simple 'coming soon.' Second, the ending -if I could call it one- is not very detailed. A series does the same thing, but guess what they do? They end off the one book of the series very well. Take The Land of Stories by Chris Colfer for example. The first story is wrapped up, but leaves open for more adventures. He doesn't end off the story with 'more coming soon.'

All of this is not meant to hurt the author, it's meant to help the author with their writing. Maybe their writing has improved since, but this can also be used for anyone reading this post. I am not a hypocrite, I made these mistakes before. Sometimes, I still make some of these mistakes. This was only to help improve other's writing.

Other than all of the professional corrections, the .exe creepypastas are old. Creepypastas are old in general, but you can continue writing these. Maybe use stronger words? Like, when you said "very blurry," you can replace it with a more visuable synonym. Go into detail of how blurry it is. Explain how it made you feel. Maybe you were creeped out? Maybe you were used to this? Maybe this didn't affect you. That is what makes a good creepypasta. Explaining the context of the details surrounding the game helps the writing flow smoothly.

Thank you for reading this! -Stupid person