Diary of a Wimpy Kid: No Regrets

Diary of a Wimpy Kid is a book series I really liked, but this book was scary as hell, that I swore to myself that I would never read a DoaWK book ever again. So let’s hop right into this story.

January 3, 2020: I found a book at my local Goodwill, titled, “Diary of a Wimpy Kid: No Regrets”. Now while I have read every single DoaWK book and I knew No Regrets was not a title, I went with it like the idiot I am. I bought it, and it cost as much as a normal Diary of a Wimpy Kid, around, 13-15 dollars. I opened the book up once I got home. The first page was like any other, the title, Greg, and a few other random characters. And the author of course. It started with Greg talking about how much he hates his family and friends, and planned to kill them. Now I was surprised. I put a bookmark in the book, closed it, and just went back to doing random crap.

January 4, 2020: I opened up the book, and went to the next page. Rodrick was playing with his band. Greg walked in. Rodrick said, “What the hell are you doing here ya runt?” I was surprised. Did Rodrick just, swear? Now while Rodrick was old enough to do so, these books are for kids. Greg said, “Attempting to kill my family and friends. Including you, bitch.” I said, “Ok now I’m just confused. Greg is just a kid.” He pulled out a gun. Rodrick said, “Woah woah woah woah, where did you get that?” Greg said, “You had it under your bed you dumbass.” Greg shot, but he missed because he closed his eyes for god knows what reason. Greg shot one of Rodrick’s band members, he fell to the ground, dead. Rodrick said, “I’M GONNA BOOK IT!!” Greg shot his other band member. He left the bodies in the furnace. I put the bookmark in, and closed the book.

January 5, 2020: I opened the book again, and I was shivering, because it was cold, but also because of that ending. Yeesh. Rodrick was in Susan and Frank‘s bedroom, Susan and Frank are Rodrick, Greg and Manny’s parents. He told them he had a gun and killed his band members. Greg walked in, “It‘s too late, buster.” He shot Rodrick in the back. He groaned, then fell to the ground. Susan and Frank tried to run. They ran for the window. Susan made it out but Frank was shot in the foot, then finished with a headshot. Manny heard everything and started crying. Greg simply walked in and said, “I won’t kill you like the others, but you will still die. I put the bookmark in and closed the book.

January 6, 2020: I opened it again, hoping nothing bad would happen to Manny. I turned the page. Manny was tied and bound with duct tape, and he was gagged. Manny cried for his life. But Greg shot, and he was dead. He went to Rowley’s house. Rowley wasn’t home, so he kicked down the door somehow and his mother was inside. Mrs. Jefferson said, “Hi Gre- AAAAAAH!” She quickly dan but she was too slow for him. He shot her dead. And that was the end. He never found Rowley.

January 7, 2020: Now I finished the book, but what happens next? You guys decide whether it was shit or not. This is, I guess I’ll just call myself Carson, over and out.