Waste.avi

When my mom asked me to check for viruses on the family computer, I wasn’t surprised. There were three people who use that computer: my parents and my brother. Granted that none of them know anything about computers, it wouldn’t be a surprise if one of them accidentally downloaded malware. Luckily I got my own laptop about a year ago, and I don’t have to use the family computer anymore.

I logged into the computer and noticed that it was very slow. I downloaded some antivirus software and scanned the computer. It found two trojans, one of which was in my brother’s folder. See, my brother had the habit of downloading tons of crap onto the computer, so my mom instructed him to put all his files in a folder on the desktop. He’s the type of person who clicks on those “you are the 1000th visitor” ads because he thinks they’re real. I deleted the trojans, but I decided to check my brother’s files to ensure that the malware was gone.

I opened up my brother’s folder and was greeted with tons of image files. It seemed like he had saved lots of unfunny memes. I scrolled through the folder, and I also noticed some Word documents, probably my brother’s school assignments. However, there was one file that stood out from the others.

Waste.avi

It was the only video file in the folder. I clicked it out of curiosity.

Windows Media Player opened up and the video began to play. The video was about 8 minutes long. I wasn’t going to sit through 8 minutes of some dumb video my brother downloaded. I was about to skip around until the first actual frame of the video appeared: a shot of a familiar-looking pineapple. It was Spongebob’s house. Huh, it seemed like my brother had downloaded a Spongebob episode.

At this point, I would have just closed out the video, but I noticed that something seemed different about Spongebob’s house. The house, and the scenery around it, lacked any shading. It was as if whoever was drawing this image hadn’t finished it yet.

The camera zoomed in closer to Spongebob’s door. It faded into a closeup shot, where I could see a cartoonishly large padlock situated over the handle. It abruptly cut to the inside of Spongebob’s house, which was dark, save for a single light. The light was coming from Spongebob’s kitchen. The kitchen door was closed, but the light was shining out from under the door. This shot remained on-screen for a while.

It cross-faded into the next scene, presumably the kitchen. A cold light shone down on a box in the middle of the room. It appeared to be a litterbox. A dark shape was huddled inside it. The dark shape was Spongebob, hunched over and unmoving.

The camera panned down to him. His wrists and ankles were bound by chains embedded into the floor. He was looking downward, so I couldn’t see his face. He appeared to be stock-still, but I noticed that his body was moving ever so slightly with each pained breath.

The sound of keys jingling made Spongebob look up. I could see his face now. He looked lethargic, as if he were drugged. Then there was the sound of a heavy door opening, then it being shut once again. Footsteps. Then the kitchen door opened.

The camera did not move to show who had entered the room. However, I could identify who it was just from the voice.

“Good morning, Spongebob,” came Squidward’s voice off-screen. “Did you sleep well?” He had a mocking tone.

Spongebob said nothing. He only glared at Squidward.

A can was tossed in Spongebob’s direction and it rolled to a stop next to the litterbox. Spongebob picked it up and inspected it. The label simply read “Osoma.”

“Sorry Spongebob, but this is for your own good. See you later.” Squidward shut the door and left, locking the heavy padlock outside on his way.

It cut to one of the time passing cards. It read “One Day Later,” although there was no narrator to read it off.

The scene returned to Spongebob in the litterbox. The can remained unopened. A sound came from outside the room: someone was unlocking the door and coming inside.

The kitchen door opened. Again, the visitor was off-screen.

“Howdy, Spongebob,” said Sandy, lacking the usual cheer in her voice.

Spongebob didn’t say anything. He only stared at her for an uncomfortably long time. Sandy didn’t respond. After the two of them stared each other down for about 30 seconds, Sandy left.

Another time card. “Three Days Later”

Spongebob was still in the litterbox. A few dark splotches had appeared in the litter. He picked up the unopened can and popped it open. Green stink lines came out of it, and Spongebob inhaled them. He grimaced in disgust. He then closed up the can and tossed it away.

“Two Days Later”

Someone was entering the house again. Spongebob was looking more disheveled than before. Dark circles had formed under his eyes.

As the guest entered the kitchen, Spongebob gave them a pleading look.

“Spongebob, me boy, I’m so sorry,” said Mr Krabs.

It was then when I noticed that Spongebob’s body was quivering slightly.

Mr Krabs said nothing more and exited the house.

“One Day Later”

Spongebob picked up the can once more and gingerly opened it. He turned it over and let the dark solid inside the can slide into his palm. He brought it to his lips and began to eat it. His face contorted into visceral disgust. He began to cry.

“Four Days Later”

The last visitor entered Spongebob’s home. This time, a silhouette was visible as a shadow was cast over the kitchen floor. It was Patrick’s shadow.

“Spongebob, they’re not going to change their mind. You’re never getting out of here.” Patrick’s voice was solemn.

Spongebob spoke for the first time. “I know.”

A pause.

Then Spongebob continued. “I have a final request for you, Patrick. I want you to end my life.”

Patrick’s shadow trembled. “B-But... I don’t want you to die!”

“But do you want to see me suffer?”

Patrick began to cry. He left the doorway without closing the kitchen door behind him. He returned a few seconds later with an item.

Spongebob gave a forced laugh. “That’s right. Kill me. There’s nothing better than having your best friend take your life, when you have nothing left to life for.”

Patrick walked on-screen, holding a revolver, stylized to fit the show’s art style. He held it to Spongebob’s temple.

“Please forgive me!” Patrick cried. He covered his eyes and pulled the trigger. There was no sound effect when the gun fired. As soon as the bullet penetrated Spongebob’s brain, it immediately cut to a shot of Spongebob and Patrick on the beach. The sky was dark, and the water was red.

They were lying on the shore quietly. There was no sound.

Then Spongebob sat up and began to choke Patrick. Patrick didn’t react at first, he just sat there while Spongebob choked him. Then Patrick reached up to touch Spongebob’s face. Spongebob shook uncontrollably and started to cry.

The scene was uncomfortably long.

Then Patrick said “How disgusting.” And it ended.

I closed the video and dragged it to the recycle bin, and that was that. I thought it was funny as hell, but I didn’t want my brother to see it. I’m not sure who made the video, or if my brother had downloaded it on purpose, but needless to say, it was a strange clip.