SuperMarioLogan: Saying Our Goodbyes to Jeffy

I know I promised not to spill the beans on this or anything, but I must let it out...

You may or may not have heard of a relatively popular Youtube series called "SuperMarioLogan" a show in which Mario characters (or sometimes other Nintendo characters or random puppets) have wacky and sometimes risque conflicts that they need to solve in some weird way.

The show is mostly watched by 13 year old boys, despite the humor being a bit too suggestive. I myself am a 15 year old girl, yeah I know, i'm sort of weird, but that's besides the point in all honesty.

SuperMarioLogan was and still is a huge hit, earning millions, and I mean millions of views each day, now having almost 5 million subscribers, it's quite crazy seeing a youtuber who films himself playing with dolls would have so many fan (even though most of them are said 13 year old boys.)

Now I don't mean to brag or anything but i'm a good friend of Logan Thirtyacre, the owner of the SuperMarioLogan channel, ever since Logan started a Patreon, he has been getting a so-so good amount of money, it wasn't something to write home about or anything, but it's bittersweet to know that Logan has fans who really care about him, but anyways I am his top patron, giving him well over 1000 dollars a month (I really don't care if i'm wasting Christmas money for this) now as part of the reward tier, Logan has personally given me his phone number, he also occasionally facetimes me, this to me, was a pretty cool experience, actually talking to someone whom i'm such a big fan of, what could be better?

My parents weren't home today, so I got chat with Logan for a little bit, I recently told Logan via Facetime of any upcoming videos, Logan laughed and told me a couple of ideas he planned, I then politely asked Logan if he could show me a video that hasn't been released yet, all of sudden, Logan just blanked out, his breathing suddenly became more heavy, I asked Logan what's up? He didn't give me an answer, all he did was hang up, I was confused to say the least, I never seen Logan so anxious before.

Seconds later, I received a pop-up notification from Gmail, It was from Logan.

Dear name withheld 

Listen, I've been stressed out for months and months and talking with you has only made my deep secret come more clear to you, this Youtube thing is seriously not working out for me anymore, I tried to gather up the crew to make a video, but not just any video, a video to express my emotions on the situation i'm dealing with right now.

Please whatever you do, NEVER, and I mean NEVER tell anybody about this video, you have to promise me name withheld on behalf of my fanbase, and me.

Logan Thirtyacre

At the end of the Email was a link to an unlisted Youtube video, not on the SuperMarioLogan channel, but on another channel made by Logan I never even heard of called "SuperMarioLogan1994"

The video had no views obviously, the channel also had no subscribers and had the default Youtube icon and channel banner, I was intrigued and somewhat suspicious.

The video in question was called "SML Movie: Saying our Goodbyes to Jeffy" it was a very unusual title, usually the title of an SML movie or short is just the character's name and what the video is about after said character's name, it didn't even have the usual exclamation mark at the end of the title.

The description of the video wasn't any less stranger, it read;

"After many fan requests, Jeffy finally gets killed off! (:"

"what the fuck?" I said softly to myself, Logan loved Jeffy, not to mention Jeffy was the main reason of Logan reaching insane numbers of views and subscribers, it seemed extremely out of place for him to kill off the most popular SML character, I decided to stop letting my worried behavior get a hold of me, and I started the video.

The video started off really light hearted, as a typical SML Movie should, Jeffy was patting his diaper as usual and Mario told Jeffy in a serious tone of voice to stop, Jeffy ignored Mario obviously and continued smacking his crotch.

Mario told Jeffy to be a good boy because he was going out to the store and he promised Jeffy if he was good, he'd pick out a toy for him at Toys R' Us

Jeffy responded with "ok daddy" and Mario went out the door.

That was when the scene started to feel out of place, the camera was focused on Jeffy for an uncomfortable amount of time, it was silence for 30 seconds, no jokes, no music, no sound effects, nothing. I felt shaky as the scene went on, Jeffy barely even moved an inch, at first I thought this was a mistake and Logan just forgot to stop the camera while recording, after all, this was an unreleased episode so I expected it to not be edited very well.

Suddenly, Jeffy moved his hands to his face.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Jeffy let out a huge scream, the scream happened so suddenly, it nearly gave me a heart attack, Jeffy ran to the kitchen where Chef Pee Pee was cooking a meal, the usual italian music played as the scene transitioned, Chef Pee Pee was making an inedible looking dinner as usual, until Jeffy ran into the kitchen, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Wait what? Jeffy? Why are you screaming?" Chef Pee Pee said in a clearly concerned voice.

Jeffy started to shake on the floor, he was foaming out the mouth, and you could clearly see tears on Jeffy's face, they didn't look like ordinary droplets of water or the fake eyelids they put on the characters to make them look sad, the tears looked genuine.

Chef Pee Pee looked down at the floor in utter shock, as the scene ended.

The next scene opened up with a shot of a hospital, Jeffy was in a hospital bed, on life support, his heart rate monitor was barely beeping and it looked like it was about to flat-line at any moment, Jeffy looked grotesque, he was severely thin, his face looked like a ghoul, there were wrinkles all around his eyes and mouth, Jeffy even whimpered and coughed, it didn't sound like those fake coughs, it sounded like he was in pain, it was so realistic, I almost thought I heard someone cough in my own room.

Mario and his wife, Rosalina were standing next to Jeffy, they both softly whimpered, no music was playing, the couple both silently sobbed for a while, it was sad to watch, I even felt like crying myself, just then, the doctor came in, it was Brooklyn T. Guy, one of my favorite characters, I was expecting him to lighten up the mood and I'd hoped he'd crack one of his sarcastic jokes, but unfortunately, he only made the scene feel even more dismal.

"I-I'm sorry" Brooklyn Guy said in a depressing voice "We done everything w-we could, but he's gone..." he looked down at the floor, trying to avoid eye contact with Mario and Rosalina.

"P-Please, say your final goodbyes to Jeffy....." and with that said, Brooklyn Guy calmly walked out the door.

Mario and Rosalina both gradually inched their way towards Jeffy, their sobbing getting louder and louder the closer they get.

"G-Goodbye Jeffy..." Mario spoken

"G-G-G" Rosalina broke into tears before even finishing her farewell, her crying didn't sound like the way she cries in a regular episode, her crying sounded as though her voice actor was actually crying instead.

The scene ended with a shot of Jeffy's heart rate monitor, as it went flat.

The next scene began at the red couch where the characters usually sit on, Mario and Rosalina are both sitting there, the atmosphere of the scene didn't look right, it was dark and dreary, the couple both looked at each other and sighed, the sighing soon turned into quiet whimpers, Rosalina started to cry loudly, but Mario was just sobbing faintly, the crying continued on for a minute, the scene began to distort, there was a static  interference coming on the screen every now and again, the scene started to slowly turn black and white like an old movie from the 1920s, Rosalina's sobbing got louder and more distorted, I could barely even tell if she was crying anymore, Mario on the other hand, actually was crying, his voice stayed the same as Rosalina's voice only worsened.

"J-Jeffy, why did he have to g-go?"

Mario said all distraught, he cried, although Mario's crying sounded like his normal crying and less realistic.

Rosalina also said something, I couldn't understand her though, as previously mentioned, her voice was too distorted.

Mario continued to cry, Rosalina stopped crying though, she just sat there, not feeling any emotion, she didn't even turn to look at Mario crying, she just started menacingly at the camera, as if she knew I was watching.

I needed to pause the video. "What the actual fuck am I watching!?" I exclaimed to myself.

This wasn't an SML video at all, this feels more like a sick joke pulled off by Logan, but why would he make this? Logan stated he made this to "express himself" it doesn't seem like he's doing that, it seems like he linked me this video just to scare me, I was praying that once the video ended, there would be a message like "you just got rekt loser" or something along those lines. My hand started to tremble as I placed it on my mouse and clicked the play button.

As the scene of crying finally ended, it faded to black.

There was a loud static interference, it startled me half to death, I was holding my hand near my chest and breathing slowly, I couldn't take this anymore, I really wanted to stop but I needed to know whether or not this was a joke, I pressed on, the static only lasted for 25 seconds or so, until it finally stopped and showed... Something to this day, I cannot explain.....

The scene transitioned to a distorted Jeffy's body, the body was mangled, both of his eyes were ripped out and replaced with empty black holes for sockets, there was stuffing all over him as he was torn to pieces, the music playing in the backround was a piano being played normally, except the other instruments being played were all glitched out and hard to listen to, a slight murmur is faintly audible, it almost sounds like Jeffy whimpering in as he was in the hospital bed from act 1. The camera zooms into Jeffy's sliced up face, it almost resembled a crime scene. I couldn't believe my eyes as I had my hands over my mouth and I breathed heavily. I shuttered like an earthquake, I just wished this was all just a bad nightmare, and that'd I wake up.

After the scene slowly faded to black as the music continues to play, white text on a black backround appeared, it read;

"You made me do this."

The text fades away along with the music, and the video ends. There wasn't anything after that, not even an SML question.

I was distraught, I ran to my bathroom and I started to vomit uncontrollably, when I was finished, I wailed and cried in the corner as I laid on my stomach for a little while.

Once I came back, the video was gone and had the "this video does not exist" message on the screen, I tried refreshing but I got the same message, I was so scared and confused, I got out my phone and told my parents to come home as soon as possible, my mom responded with a simple "why?" and I replied with crying hard and pleading, my mom hung up as quickly as possible and she sent me text that said "we're coming home asap" I sat on my bed, traumatized, waiting for them to come home.

Once my parents came home I ran to them, giving them both a big hug, they hugged back as I bawled my eyes out.

A day has passed, and I decide to finally send Logan an email about the video, he has this to say;

Hey name withheld 

Please listen to this email as thoroughly as you possibly can.

I just want to start of by saying how sorry I am you had to see that video, showing you it was a huge mistake, I don't know what went through my head when I decided it was a good idea to link that tasteless video to you, it's my own fault.

''Now I wanna be honest with you name withheld, I kind of lied, I was just in a hurry to right that other email to you that I sort of rushed out an explanation, the truth is, that video you saw was made in response to my haters, since Jeffy's first appearance, I already planned on an episode to kill him off... but it got too real, and I decided it was a good idea to edit the video a bit, you know, give it a bit of "pizzaz" wanted this video to have a bit of a more darker tone, and the Jeffy haters that started popping up just gave me more reasons to finish this particular video, but in the end, the video didn't seem right, so I unlisted the video and put it on my account I was originally going to upload videos on just for safe keeping, however, after thinking for a while, I deleted the video, although, I think it was too late, you already watched it anyways.''

P.S. I'm not going to reupload it EVER.

P.S.S. Remember your promise.

Logan Thirtyacre